Source – Queen guitarist Brian May has revealed he ended up in hospital after injuring his buttocks during an incident in his garden.
“I managed to rip my Gluteus Maximus to shreds in a moment of over-enthusiastic gardening,” wrote May in an Instagram post Thursday.
“So suddenly I find myself in a hospital getting scanned to find out exactly how much I’ve actually damaged myself.”
May, usually very active on Instagram, had not posted anything for several days until Thursday. He updated followers to let them know his absence was not due to coronavirus, before saying that he had been quiet due to “too many demands” as well as his recent injury.
While May did not reveal how he had injured himself, he appears to have done significant damage to his buttocks. “Turns out I did a thorough job — this is a couple of days ago — and I won’t be able to walk for a while … or sleep, without a lot of assistance, because the pain is relentless,” he wrote, adding that he would be off social media for a while to get some rest. “Please, please don’t send me sympathy — I just need some healing silence for a while,” he said, before saying farewell to his fans and telling them to “take care out there.”
Stories like this make a Weird News blogger’s heart leap for joy! You know I have a take on this so I present to you, in order of how they flooded into my mind, my immediate thoughts upon reading this article:
- Wait, what?!?!
2) This has to be in the running for the least “rock star-esque” injury of all time. I mean, maybe he did get hurt while gardening, but come on, could dude not just give a less embarrassing story? You know, like just saying nothing or simply stating that he “strained a muscle” and is taking some time to recover at home? Just leave it at that. We don’t need him going into detail about how he was channeling his inner Amishman and somehow accidentally (excuse the pun) ripped the shit out of his bottom. That’s not the image I want to have of aging rock stars. I want to imagine that this incredibly weird injury occurred during a coke fueled orgy with Instagram thots on a private jet to the Bahamas, not that he simply bent down to pick up a garden trowel and exploded his glute. I want, no need, to believe that at least rock stars don’t just become boring old dudes piddling around their homes growing plants like everyone else does when they get old. If that’s what happens to these guys then what chance do the rest of us stand to avoid boring / depressing “golden years”?!?!
3) We don’t believe you. You need more people! (Shoutout to the big homie Jay Z for this classic line.)
4) Isn’t this situation exactly why celebrities employ publicists? You know, to get between the celebrity and his fans to prevent oversharing of intimate details about TBI’s (traumatic booty injuries) ?!?!…. Yeah, this is exactly why publicists are around.
5) Something like this happened to Forrest Gump! He was wounded in the buttocks and also overshared about it (to the president no less)! Maybe Brian May should rewatch the movie to get ideas about how to function when down a cheek.
6) Sharing this with the world is quite possibly the ultimate rich guy power move. Just ripping your ass and going directly to the internet to let everyone know what you did and in doing so make it clear that you have zero shame about it. While the rest of us won’t even let a fart slip out as we go about our days for fear that someone might hear or smell it, Brian May is out here destroying his butt and then shouting about it from the rooftops. Man, having “f-you money” must be freaking amazing. Imaging being so rich and carefree that you have no shame openly sharing stuff like this with the world! What a life that must be.