Dana Gold is my new favorite drug kingpin.

Money can't buy happiness, but it's a damn good down payment. This picture proves it.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it’s a damn good down payment. This picture proves it.

 

Move over Scarface and George Jung because Dana Gold is now my favorite drug kingpin! What has this guy not accomplished in life? Overcoming a childhood deformity to become a talented basketball player? Check! Marrying an R&B songstress and bankrolling her to the top? Check! Making a million dollars a week moving work? Also check! My man Dana is just straight up victorious. 10 years in prison can’t hold him back. Just made him stronger and gave him time to get the script ready for his epic life story.

I cannot overstate how much I love this guy’s swag. Heck, I don’t even like the word “swag”, but there’s really no other word that encompasses what this dude has going on. “Don’t lie on me, so I won’t tell the truth on you?” Burn! Bro is so white chocolate that he makes Riff Raff seem suburban.  The part about him dating Brooke Burke sealed it for me. I mean, we can all remember watching her on E! channel and wondering, “Who is lucky enough to date her?” Well, now we know.  Dana Freaking Gold was. That’s who.

Slangin kilos, moving betting odds at the racetrack, and running through dimes all despite looking like a bug eyed cross between Kenny Powers and Johan Hill. I ain’t even mad at you Dana. I’m just in awe.

PS: Notice what he’s having for dinner in that video? Shrimp! 100% boss power move right there.