I don’t know about you, but I’m freaking stoked! The drought is over thanks to Erin Hamlin! America has finally taken home some Olympic hardware in the singles luge! YEAHAHAHA!!!!!! Haven’t been this happy about anything bronze since my baby shoes were dipped in metal to preserve them for the ages. Planning my celebration as I write this blog post. Probably should keep it traditional and just riot. It’s the only option for a true Patriot at a moment like this. I’ll most likely start with burning a couch on my porch (keeping upholstered furniture outdoors is a sign of a classy homeowner) and then I’ll take it to the streets. You know, flip a few cars, throw a few Molotov cocktails. After that, I’ll just see where the night takes me.
How will you celebrate? Leave a reply below!
Go big or go home. Skip to 5:25 for the first flashbang….