Balls or Bike? Man makes right choice.

Protect Your Nuts

Wise County Messenger – Posted 9/10/2013: A Paradise man was injured Tuesday morning after falling 15 feet into a dry creek bed when his motorcycle hit a guardrail on County Road 3470. Terry Himes, 57, lost control of his motorcycle after a bee flew up his shorts. He panicked and swerved into the guardrail, flipped forward off his bike and fell onto his back about 15 feet below the bridge. His injuries did not appear life-threatening, and he was wearing a helmet. Members of Paradise Volunteer Fire Department and Wise County Medics pulled Himes out of the creek after strapping him into a sled. Himes was transported by ground to Wise Regional Health System in Decatur.

First off, the title of this article, “Motorcyclist flies off bridge after bee flies up shorts“, is pure gold. I mean, you don’t even have to read any further to get the full story of the chaos that went down. Now, lets all take a moment to congratulate ole’ Terry Himes for doing what every responsible man would if faced with such a situation: he protected his nuts above all else. Forget about the Harley. An OG like our boy Terry knows those are replaceable. Shoot, that’s why he has that Gieco motorcycle insurance that gecko is always pimping so hard. Besides, a fella can go through several bikes in a lifetime. I’m talking dirt bikes, crotch rockets, cruisers, choppers, you get the picture. But a man only has one dick and balls and those must be guarded like the treasure they are. You can’t let a bee fly up your pants and potentially take out your manhood. Heck no. You do whatever it takes to protect what’s yours, even if that means doing a small-scale reenactment of Evel Knievel’s Snake River Canyon Jump. So ride on Terry, and this time, stop being such a priss and put on long pants because the only person on your hog wearing shorts should be the hottie riding on the seat behind you.

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